Please find below the
Semi-Finalist Evaluation
Judges'' comments
“The same old-world system that is fuelling our global crises is also suppressing our abundance of whole-systems solutions!” This pitch is cast in the negative. Instead, I would suggest revising it to frame the opportunity and solution you intend to provide. This proposal depends very much on the charisma and leadership qualities of "Yan." So, give us a very good picture of this person. Testimonials from coworkers or students might help us understand his ability to lead a transformative and impactful movement. For example, create a YouTube so we get to know him. Is this a one-man show, or is there a team? "For over 20 years Yan has been exploring and experimenting with alternative living and conscious collective evolution. He practices and teaches yoga, meditation and permaculture & ecovillage design...."
While I appreciate the general concept of paradigm shift, there aren't enough details here on project costs, execution and impacts to advance to the next round.
This proposal is largely theoretical and doesn't go into specifics of what would be created, how it would be deployed, maintained, or what the projected impacts would be.
Although I can sympathize with the overall vision, the proposal is weak in terms of what they will actually do and how they shift the attitudes of people into the actions proposed.
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